I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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