I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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