you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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