Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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