Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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