she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
