HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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