She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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