i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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