omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
