this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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