The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish I only lived at night.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
