I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
