Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
