Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
