I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
