alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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