Will you blow on my dice?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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