can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
