The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
