party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
