bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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