Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This is not my ceiling
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
