Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
