She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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