i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I deserve this hangover.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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