Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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