If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i was born a porn star she said
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
