i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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