so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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