i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
