hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
