he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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