Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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