I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
