I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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