i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
