Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
