Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just want nice things and good sex
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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