I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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