No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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