I don't think brook has ever known best
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
