so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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