dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
