I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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