I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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