At least make sure they are 18
Why
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
