she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
