I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
