ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
