people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
