Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
