This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
