I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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