Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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